teeth hygiene comedy

What's Really Most Important to Me... by Shanelle Gabriel

One thing I can say about every guy I dated (with one exception), THEY ALL HAD GREAT TEETH. It's kinda my thang. I'm a sucker for a nice smile. Some may call it an Oral Fixation of some sorts. Straight, pearly whites make me so weak in the knees...SWV knew how I felt. And I take very good care of mine so naturally I expect the same.

While leaving the gym, walking through the mean streets of the renovated Fort Greene area, I crossed paths with a guy who was a caramel-mochiotto complexion, cinnamon lips, and soft brown eyes that glittered through the shadows of the street-lamps above us. In layman's terms, he was FIIIIINE! So fine that I forgot I was on the phone and did a double-take. He apparently liked what he saw: me with a matted mess of hair peaking from a black inconspicuous hoodie, blue jeans, my beat-up gym shoes, and a duffle bag big enough to take him home with me...that is if I wanted to. Lol. He asks my name, and I give him the real one. He starts to mouth his digits, and as I struggle to figure out how not to hang up on my homegirl and save a new number, I notice....
His stock crashed faster than JP Morgan's.

Is that shallow of me? I think not. I have noticed a trend. People wear nice clothes, new jewelry, fresh kicks on their feet, get a sharp hair cut, then in all of the process of getting fly and suited up, forget their teeth. I've seen so many cute guys that would fail the "Scratch Test." So I'm implore you all to do it with me right now just so you know whether or not I'm talking about you. :)

Step 1: Take your index finger or the one with the longest nail, and hold it front of you.
Step 2: Smile your cheesiest smile. (Think first grade school photos-type smile.)
Step 3: Use that finger nail to scratch your front tooth from top to bottom.
Step 4: If you get a nail full of gunk, EWWWWW! If not, my phone number is...just kidding. But you get my point.

Taking care of your teeth is soooo important. The state offers free health insurance which includes dental. And if you can buy some Dior shades, you can afford at least a yearly check-up and cleaning. Your toothbrush should scrub EVERY tooth in your mouth or you're not doing it right. Left, right, up, down. Get em all! And if a tooth should go bad or missing (primarily if it's in the front), get it checked out.No one should have that yellow layer of gunk on their teeth or on their gums. Floss, use an index card, shoestring, whatever. These are the simple things that make a difference. This goes hand in hand with body odor and wiping crust out of your eyes in the morning. Gentlemen (and ladies, you're not exempt from this), I want you all to be fly and stay fly. While the inside is most important, it's hard for me to want to get to know some one who looks like they may have been chewing on their platinum chain instead of just wearing it. Get those pearly whites or off-whites hooked up. Sometimes an extreme makeover isn't really that extreme.

Stay Sexy,
Stay Blessed,
Shanelle Gabriel