Poetry
My good friend, Mahogany L. Browne (Poet/Curator/Author) released a beautiful book of her poem "Black Girl Magic," illustrated by Jess X Snow and published by Macmillan. She called on myself and a few other poets (Shannon Matesky, Roya Marsh, Elizabeth Acevedo, Falu, Eboni Hogan, and Imani Davis) with their own Black Girl Magic flavor to film the words of her poem. Here it is!
FYI: You can purchase this inspiring book at Barnes & Nobles, Amazon, and wherever awesome books are sold.
Turn up the radio/ Turn it up just like before/ Every week its the same thing/ Does the record ever stop for you?/ Tell mr is this what you wanna do?/ Who you think’s controlling you?/ Cause yo body ain’t your own, no/ Your body, body ain’t your own, no/ Sista/ I ain’t tryin to shame ya/ just letting you know that your power’s in danger/ Trying to numb your pain while dudes are tryin to play ya./ Consent on your own terms/ not for the game, yea./ Mind ya mind./ They tryin to control ya shine/ Patriarchy it can be internalized/ Make your sexuality your own design/ Cause it seems like... seems like...
Like you’re loving the crew
Loving the crew
Loving the crew
You’re loving the crew
Loving the crew
Loving the crew
But do they love you?
Your guards down/ his cards up/ he's the player and the dealer/ texting him in caps cause you mad at how he treats ya/ think you’re gonna win when he's in charge of the game/ made you think you’re special then he forgot your name/ this ain’t sexual oppression/ nothing wrong with doing you/ but it ain’t liberation if you think sex can heal you/ tryin to sleep with a star so you can be one/ left your constellation/for walks of shame with the sun/ Quote Amber and Kardashian/ hmmm/ Like they aren't the exceptions/ the average chick falls quick from recollection/ two seconds after he loses his erection./ Addicted to attention want the spotlight/ don't fight for the right to self-objectify/ don't expect to get pixie dust from these guys/ baby, Tinkerbell didn't need Peter to fly
Trying to be a 10/ getting treated like a one/ They don't call you for dates/ They call you for fun/ cause you just a game to them
I want better for you/ you gotta want it too / I wish you could love yourself instead of loving the crew
I want better for you/ fellas are guilty too / learn to love yourself before loving the crew.
This past Saturday, I was blessed to be the opening performer for the 6th Annual African Diaspora Awards at the Florence Gould Hall on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. Hosted by comedian and Instagram sensation, Dulo (@iamdulo), the show recognized some powerhouses who've made great contributions to the African community and the world around us.
I was asked to write a poem for the event which is below. It was great to see the other performers grace the stage including Ayo (who was EXCELLENT and a privilege to meet), Afrobeat artist Owen, soulful singer Mayoa as well as the internationally known Sarcodie.
I opted to wear a dress that formerly was my mother's. It felt appropriate thinking about legacy and ancestors within the Diaspora who've bestowed their spirit to us in their passing. Check out the photos below!
Pre-show posing with Dulo, our host
A blessing meeting Ayo.
The Kingsmen Band backed me up for my performance. They were so dope (and quite dapper!)
"If you wan chop frog, make you chop better frog, make you chop better frog, make you chop better frog"
I found this saying odd/ until I learned the importance of/ always doing things big/ huge/ tremendous/ If you gonna do it/ then you better do it/ in some cases less isn't considered more/ especially when it comes to hands, to hearts/ to black skin/ that melanin that holds fast to the legacy within/ call every tribe kin/ whether naija or Brooklyn/ whether from the soul of the Congo or the streets of Chicago/ we're not as different as we seem/ the same history/ the same painter but varied color schemes/ your heart pumps fire from heaven just like mine/ and it's a waste of time trying to keep us divided by bloodlines/ we're in the same family connected by ties that are divine/ whether African or African-American/ Caribbean/ or if you Reside in another nation/ you're still the Diaspora's foundation/ and if we come together/ imagine the trails we'll blaze/
So let's be butterflies y'all/ but with caterpillar ways/ flap our wings always shine but never forget the ground from which we came/ take the hard world around us and turn it into silk/ no reason bridges crossed and broken can't be rebuilt/ whether it's by plane or via ship/ whether dropped off at islands during the trip/ whether hands were bloodied with liquid, solid gold or sugar cane strips/ whether cotton or coffee/ we lived to see this/ we breathed to be this/ We fought to be this/ unified by clenched fists/ unified by clenched fists/ unified by clenched fists/ Let them know we were born to be this/ we were born fly like this/ yes we woke up like this/ yes we woke up like this/ we rock our crowns like this/ and we're united like this/ we dragging a painful past/ together reclaiming our worth/ Baanu so a emmia/ When two carry, it does not hurt/ So here's to he Diaspora united/ Sprinkling our blessings on this earth
This is new
Like
First breath
For sale sign removed from
Emerald grass
Awkward playground kiss
Leaning back in heated seats
Kicks wiped with licked fingertips
I'm treasuring this
This is fresh
Like
Blueberries handpicked
Or just picked out
Hand on hips
Neck rolls and bent wrists
Back spins and windmills
Dookie chains
Flat tops with the part
You too fly
This is love like
Bottomless mimosas
Wet noses and protection
A seat on the train after a long day
Broken windows turned to stained glass
Your favorite song sung on a stage
Or
Faucet mics
Finding a missing piece to a game you once played
A piece of you you didn't know you missed
This is life
Loving this fresh newness
She's been stressed lately
Can't always run from her problems
So she barbell presses
the weight of the world off her shoulders
Deadlifts what's holding her down
Getting her life in full Kettlebell swing
Doesn't give a Squat who is in her way
Not looking for kick backs
She earned what's hers
Only lunging forward
Raises her hands to the sky
Her existence has never been a skip and a jump
Left to workout life solo
Support came and then dipped
Roped into dark places
Where most people would curl into a
Medicine ball
But with every fall she pushes up
Remembering that targeting weaknesses
Leads to greater gains
Rather to raise the bar
Than live as a dumb belle
Delicate
Worried over 5 pounds
Potential gathering dust on a shelf
She would rather lift the
Iron that sharpens iron
Never cared about
Being TOO strong for a man
This gym is life
Where who she is gets defined
Tell them they're worthless
Then tell them they're perfect.
Tell them their flaws are their strengths
And their strengths are their flaws
Tell them the world is there's
But leave out the part about
It being hard and unfair
Let them feel like everything they want
Is on the bottom shelf
No need to climb
To fall would be too risky
Make these poor black and brown lives easy
Tell them about their rights
Sing songs about equality
Label their disrespect as freedom of speech
Let their tongues run free
Completely
Don't expect thought or self-control
Teach them to ignore authority
Skills they'll need when
Approached by police
Called out by bosses
Bend rules frequently
Consequences are too hard a concept
Let them believe someone will always
Be there to protect
To save
You,
Keep on trying to save them
Hug them
Cushion them
They are the teddy bears you cuddle
Destined to sit on a prison barred shelf
Let them learn to expect the coddling
So many years of cotton picking
Only to have this generation
Filled with cotton stuffing
Forgetting the strength of steel backs
That silenced a whip's crack
Teach them slavery is a thing of the past
That there's nothing they lack
Tell them the world is colorblind
Tell yourself you see no skin
Only skeleton
Give the kids only bones
Barely scratch their surface
Make graduating their only purpose
If they're not complacent
Tell them they're worthless
Separate them based
How well they fit the status quo
Create futures for those who's tongues
You can hold
If they question you
Or suggest that you don't know what you think you know
About them
Hold them in contempt
Silence their recognition
That somethings wrong with their education
Blame their struggle on themselves
It's their fault if they don't do well
Regardless of hunger pains,
Misdiagnoses, and family strains
They should be able to excel
Suspend and expel
Anyone not compelled by your rhetoric
Including
those that challenge your thinking
Suppress anyone who knows they don't need
Another pillow to catch them
But
That Brillo pad type of scrubbing
To be made to shine
To be able succeed
Through the subconscious destruction
Within every human interaction
And an inherently racist system
Smother them
Watch them bleed their potential
Choke on the White guilt
You shove down their throats
Give them your smiles
Give them your soft touch
Your praise and hi-5s
And pray that it will be enough
To keep them alive
To keep them free
To keep them employed
To keep them warm as an adult
Wandering through life
Life is about
Caressing days
Squeezing hours
Massaging minutes
Shaking hands with seconds
Tongue-kissing moments
Marrying memories
Nothing lasts forever
I started hating him/ For not loving me/ for not seeing my efforts and my ability/ for not making life easier for me/ for seeing me drowning and still pouring salt water on my head/ for being salty/ for seeing my failures and labeling me a failure/ for not seeing that it's easy for an island to sink beneath the sea/ I started hating him for turning chameleon/ for making me mistake his smile for kindness/ his open hands were handshakes/ and now slaps to the face/ I started hating him for making me hate myself/ even if it was for just a second/ for that moment I didn't know how to defend my action/ and let your crooked words hurt/ I almost hated you/ I still kinda do but I'm slowly realizing that there is a gift in every person's curse/ that there is a healing that comes after every hurt/ that my soul is a mattress for my heart/ I can bounce back/ this end taught me how to keep my pride intact/ how to separate someone's disrespect from someone's own lack of self-respect/ how to set myself up so when someone tries to set me up I got enough to back myself up/ I know how to store enough gangsta for a rainy day/ Store enough perspective to be able to put my attitude in the right place/ I know that when someone comes out their face/ a lot of times it's cause they don't know how to save face/ and some would rather throw people off the train/ than admit the conductor instructions they gave were a mistake./ I'm learning not to sit in hate/ but to run away/ from anyone and anything meant to kill my spirit/ I won't be like him and lose my mind or my grace/ Any person or place/ that's fine with breaking me down/ Will have to learn to be fine without me around/ cause this curse blessed me with the urgency to search for the gift/ that I have now found.
Your guards down/ his cards up/ he's the player and the dealer/ texting him in caps cause you mad at how he treats ya/ think you gonna win when he's in charge of the game/ gave him the draws and you don't know his govt name/ you too mixed up/ give too much all these men/ getting your womb run thru and call it liberation/ used to be a 10/ now you're just a one/ Dudes don't call you for dates/ They call you just for fun/ Thinking if you sleep with a star you can be one/ left your constellation/ for bottle service and walks of shame with the sun/ Quote Amber and Kardashian/ Like they aren't exceptions/ the average chick falls quick from recollection/ Once these baller dudes get some./ Addicted to attention/ guys who only care about erections/ Women's fight for freedom/ wasn't so you could be free to be numb like men/ Equate the fight for equal rights to justify being objectified/ emotionally dead inside/ I want better for you/ but you gotta want better for you/ i wish you could love yourself instead of just loving the crewQuote Amber and Kardashian/ Like they aren't exceptions/ the average chick falls quick from recollection/ Once these baller dudes get some./ Addicted to attention/ guys who only care about erections/ Women's fight for freedom/ wasn't so you could be free to be numb like men/ Equate the fight for equal rights to justify being objectified/ emotionally dead inside/ I want better for you/ but you gotta want better for you/ i wish you could love yourself instead of just loving the crew
Perfectly stacked teeth,
Silk caesars, commanded bod
Don't compare to you
Ya lie down in strange places/ a woman of da night/ intertwined wit alla deez foreign men like making pelau wit uncle bens rice/ Ya too mixxy/ askin silly questions like "whatcha need ta do ta be a good wife"/ ya priorities float by/ cause Ya think ya need a man in ya life/ I thought like you once/ had dat sickness called "trust in love"/ but mi heal mi own body/ when Ya father and me's Union turned ta dust/ death to us put mi body in Trinidad but mi heart in the Arctic/ see, listen to mi pickney/ before dis illness kills ya soul/ the hurt will neva leave ya like da common cold/so turn ya heart into ice/so numb ya won't notice ya sick/say these words to ya reflection repeatedly/ so one day it will stick:
No man is gonna love you/ more than he love he freedom/ each lie a brick to build pyramids/ a beautiful tomb to hold ya heart/ he will watch you die/ just so he can feel like a worthy cause/ your tombstone will read birth/ under death - he'll sign he name/ just for de fame of it/ hell, he'll use your death to find de next chick/ pat the soil on ya grave/ before the grass can grow/ he in dat cemetery wanderin/ find himself another gal lookin for a man for she tombstone/ dah-lin gal/ mi daughter / mi redskin pickney/ this is for ya own good/ let these men be
When all you want
When all your chest pains for
When every single curl springing from your crown
To the callous shadowing
The heels of your feet
When all your knock knees
Legs that could caress arrows wants
When every ancestor within you
When your entire being...
Wants a seat on the train
You will tackle anyone
Shift anyone
Bludgeon anyone to get it.
I am anointed oil
Blessing every
Midnight toil
Digging in the soil
That folk won't soil
Their hands with
They ain't got the bandwidth
To do what I do
God can call many
But chooses so few
When called to duty
Would rather say it's out of their control
Remote locations
They won't go
Too scared to go the extra mile
Their grimace is my smile
I make the hard look easy
They're swans barely making a ripple
I'm more like Crocodile
Built to Slide
In and out muddy places
Splash and silence the water
Born to make an impact
Been putting in that work since
School gave you breaks
for naps and snacks
I won't stop cause I can't stop
I have that thing so many lack
It's called a hustlers spirit
I never fold no matter
How the odds against me are stacked
This is for the woman who said yes but meant no.
See, you’d label it buyers remorse
But her goods were taken not sold
Said yes
Clenched fists, shut eyes
Silent cries said no
Of course
“Who’s is it?”
Her body is his to own
Her lip trembling and tears
Couldn’t be her mouthing prayers
She really didn't want him to stop
I mean,
Women never really know what they want
So hormonal
Mixed signals he was never taught to read
They say 1 in 200 women are color blind
While 1 in 12 men have this color deficiency
No wonder they can’t tell between red and green
Plowing through yellow
This is for the woman
Who said yes but meant no
Cause of years of being told her no wasn't sufficient
Told he didn't even really need her permission
Told if she had a problem no one would listen
Cause "you know what it's like when he doesn't get his medicine"
Misogyny gave him the prescription
She has no choice but to fill
We still live in a world where a woman's right to her body
Gets shot down by a room full of men
In senate bills
Where rape isn’t caused by rapists
But how tight the top, short the skirt
Where it makes to sense to struggle to call the cops
Who do you think will come first
So why would her bedroom be safe
Why would he not be in charge
When you learn sex from porn
What other roles would you think there are
She should be glad to be a background actress
In the bedroom every man gets to be the star
This is for the woman
Who said yes but meant no
Cause no is too "negative"
And she wanted to keep her man
"If he gets it up
It's your job to bring it down"
Like he doesn't have two perfectly good hands
Men have needs
You should understand
Always be ready
The place between your legs juicy
Matter of fact, it could be dry
As long as legs open wide
As long as he can force his way inside
Bend over
Let me smash
Lemme hit
I’ma beat it up
Be turned on when he makes rape sound sexy
All adjectives violent
He’ll ask you if you like it like this
But won’t wait for a response
She’s been told baby girl,
Calm down
You'll be alright
Baby if you love me you'd let me try
If you love me you'll do what I like
Do you want me to go elsewhere
You ain't got nothing I can't go outside and find
This is for the woman
Who said yes but meant no
Cause no means there'll be a fight
So hallow tongued
Broken half smile
Taught love isn't about compromise
It's about sacrifice
Spent so many years saying yes to mans desire
She doesn't even know what she actually likes
Never reached an orgasm but has had sex countless times
Taught to repeat
Love is a body cemented on top of me
Love is a penis concrete
Heavy inside me
Pain is pleasure.
Love hurts
And I learned how to love from my daddy
Love and Violation
I learned synonymously
The word no was never in my vocabulary
This is for the woman
Who said yes but meant no
Taught to swallow semen and pride
Be fine
With being treated like a whore
But stay dignified in the public eye
A freak in the sheets
Is always defined by how readily
you meet a mans needs
Wires will always be crossed
When social constructs and power dynamics
Make men think they're in the movie weird science
And they can create and exploit a woman's sexual mechanics
They can focus on the yes
Ignore the no that was sandwiched
As long as there's a yes
Forget the body language
She consented to the sex
So she alone is responsible for the damage
There was an "ok" mumbled somewhere
Put it in before she changes her mind
Put the gun to her head
And let her commit slow suicide
This is for the woman who was never told she could say no at anytime
Cause coerced or forced sex is a crime
This is for the woman
Who said yes but meant no
Although though no question was posed
This is for the woman
Who said yes but meant no cause they already labeled her a hoe
This is for the woman
Who said yes but meant no.
Cause it would’ve have the same results.
This is for the woman who was a girl
Who said yes because she wasn't old enough to say no to adults
This is for the woman dating a man
Who once said yes but meant no
And continued the endless cycle
This is for the woman
Who said yes but meant no
Who said yes but meant no
Who said no but meant no
Who said no but meant no
Who said nothing but meant no
Who said nothing but meant no
Who said...
Broken hearts are good
They help you remember that
You once had a heart
Men
Broken men
Battling broken men
Breaking battling broken men
Be breaking battling broken men
I be breaking battling broken men
Cause I be breaking battling broken men
Tired cause I be breaking battling broken men
So shattered cause I be breaking battling broken men
Get so shattered cause I be breaking battling broken men
I get so shattered cause I be breaking battling broken men
I now see my reflection in his shards
I struggle to pray sometimes
Except to bless food
Every plate I remember to be thankful
But some days my plate seems too full
Too much to bare
Or too little
Not much to share
I struggle to pray sometimes
Except for the youth I know
I may feel stagnant at times
But my goal is for them to grow
Recognize the same sun that burns them
Feeds their leaves strengthens their branches
The mistakes are okay
God gives second, third fourth fifth chances
I struggle to pray sometimes
Except when I'm in danger
Walking through the darkness
He always sends a friend in the guise of a stranger
I can't count the uncountable number of times
I felt so afraid
Barely a moment would pass
And the terrifying situation would fade
Im ashamed to say
Sometimes I struggle to pray
But He keeps on blessing me
Anyways
*Disclaimer! I was listening to "Who Dem" by Capleton when I wrote this*
Who dem a think they
Get away with murder
You whispering your sins
Best believe that God heard ya
Who dem a like to break gals heart
Dem build monuments of lies
Watch all a dem fall
Who dem a teach the youth foolishness
Pollute the radios
Dem no even make sense
Who dem de liars an hypocrites
Rappin bout pure bull shit
Immortalize dead man dem
Make Duppy man dem
Music talking all lies
Criminal records fiction
Dem a praise violence
Kids a kill cause a dem
Ignore de parents
Dem Rejecting wisdom
Nobody lead
Dey Just a follow dem friend
But when Babylon come
De friend dem flee from dem
Dey doing hard time
While they friend a live dey life
This is the cycle
Sometimes
We mistake windows for doors
Confuse ceilings with floors
Think opportunity doesn't knock
So we jump to Plan B
Before A can arrive
Think our limit is where we stand
Plant our feet on the ground
Ignoring His command to look up
See
That ceiling just shows you what level
You're on
Keep walking
Keep grinding
Keep on
Finding stairs to take
Till you realize that ceiling is gone
Never forget
That you know the way
You built the house you're in
If you think it's love
Saturate lips with silence
Shut up till you know
