Picture this: I'm home on a blessed Friday evening in Atlanta, GA. I'm in my comfy socks, pajama pants and an over-sized T-shirt lovingly given to me by a school I previous performed at earlier last year. It's warm, and I'm on the phone with a friend of mine speaking about random things like families and triathlons. I see a number I don't recognize come up on the call waiting. I click over to hear a woman's voice.
In a very professional and sweet tone, I hear, "Hello, is this Shanelle Gabriel?" I say 'yes' thinking it's kind of late to be getting phone calls for bookings, but okay. I ask her her name, and she mumbles it and continues:
"Do you know ___(Insert some guy's name here)___?" The name doesn't ring a bell, and I tell her so. She names a group that I know of and performed with a few months ago. I'm not an instigator or gossiper so I won't say the gospel group's name. She says the name again and I vaguely connect it to one of the members who I briefly spoke with about working on a future project with. That was back in June. I hadn't spoken to him since then. I say, "Oh, yes, I now who you're talking about. What's up?"
"Did he tell you he was married?"
Rather random. Most artists don't come up to me after a show and say, "Hey I like your work. I'm married. So who's your producer? Those beats are dope." I tell her no and that there was no reason it would have came up. The conversation didn't go in that direction, so how would I know? More importantly, why would I care?
"Well, I just wanted to clear that up with you, so that everything was known."
She says this in a sweet voice and elaborates a little more on that being her husband. I tell her that I'm a singer, and him having my information had to do with business. Then I realize that she should have stopped once she saw that she had to go into detail for me to know who the heck her husband was. She interrupts my thoughts.
"Oh really? What type of music do you sing?"
I tell her gospel, inspirational, a lil bit of R&B. She sweetly says, "Oh so you're a Christian?" Nah, I'm an atheist that happens to love Richard Smallwood and The Clark Sisters. "Yes, I am," I reply.
"Well, then, may God bless you, your music, and all your endeavors in 2009. Have a wonderful weekend." I say, "You too," click the phone over, and laugh LOUDLY.
Now, this goes out to my sisters...Women have a habit of barking up the wrong tree. Fighting the woman their man has been talking to instead of fighting the person they ACTUALLY agreed to be monogamous with. If you think your man is being unfaithful or dishonest, YOU NEED TO TAKE THAT GARBAGE UP WITH HIM!!! Not with the girls he may have in his phone or who he works with. It is HIS JOB to let his female friends know that he is with you. If you have to do it for him, you both need counseling. Maybe you don't even need to be with him. Calling another woman's phone to mark your territory comes off as sad, insecure, and is a somewhat pathetic attempt to be the glue to keep you both together. You cannot save a relationship all by yourself. If he is interested in someone else, calling that person will not change the situation. He will just find a new place to hide the numbers.
Understand that I had no clue who she was talking about, and because I am a Christian woman, I did not let the Devil let me tell her off the way I would have in my younger years. This is not my first time being called by a woman regarding the behaviors of her man. I cannot force him to be honest about his marital status, and my ignorance to his situation cannot be held against me. I've witnessed many a chick fight over a cheating man and watched the man stand back laughing or slink away without any scars.
Ladies! No more! Let's stop barking up the wrong tree, and put an end to the cat fights. It's 2009, a new year. Let him do the spring cleaning, not you. Leave his phone alone. And please don't call me about him unless you want to pray.
For all the trouble she went through, I probably should have asked her to buy my CD.